Was the Black Harvest Festival of Film and Video the world premiere of your documentary, ONE ORDINARY WOMAN, ONE EXTRAORDINARY JOURNEY?

No, the premiere was in the Black Hollywood Film Festival in Hollywood California; but the story actually begins before that. 

I first had a premiere screening for my family of peers as I was nearing completion of the piece.  The screening was in a nice little restaurant with a little screening area.  After the screening, someone from the Black Hollywood Film Festival came up to me and said they would love to show the piece in their festival. 

At the time, I was just seeking audience feedback.  I planned to do some more editing; but decided to let them show it in its rough form.

The version shown at the Black Harvest Festival was re-edited.  I really tightened up the piece. 

Now, I’m purposefully exploring opportunities to get it into other festivals.

Will you consider home distribution?

Absolutely.  I would first love to have the documentary seen on television – maybe on Lifetime, Showtime, or HBO. Maybe it could be slated for Black History Month in February, or Women’s History Month in March.  Then I would like to explore a package deal, maybe with Blockbuster, or maybe through an independent distribution channel.

How did this project come about?

It is something I’ve wanted to do for a while.  I’ve been in California for nine years now.  I earned my masters in literature from DePaul University in Chicago, and then took a summer screenwriting class.  I fell in love with screenwriting and knew it was something I wanted to do career-wise.  I moved to L.A., and began learning about the industry and the whole filmmaking process.  I went to UCLA to study film and started doing a short film. Over the course of the project, I began thinking about my mother. 

I always thought my mother was phenomenal.  I admired her for what she was able to accomplish.  I told her of my interest, and we first talked about doing a book.  We talked about that for a while. 

When you’re trying to do a group thing, it’s difficult to get mobilized.  You have to deal with things that happen in other people’s lives, and you find people have other priorities.  I decided to make the project my priority, especially after mom was diagnosed with cancer. 

So, you came to Chicago to do the project?

Ever since I moved to California, I’ve come back to Chicago at least two or three times a year.  When I returned to do the project, I had a cinematographer accompany me to film mom. 

I planned everything before I came - the interviews and everything.  Then I came home, and within three weeks, bam, I interviewed as many people as I could and I went around and shot scenes from our old neighborhoods. 

The re-enactments of our childhoods that appear in the documentary were shot in L.A.  Chicago has been a very supportive environment for me, but L.A. was were my film community exists.  In L.A., it was just easier for me to mobilize the resources I needed to do those scenes.

You obviously have a base of support in L.A., that’s good.  L.A. can be a tough place.

Oh, man!  It’s a tough place alright.

I found that if you focus on the things people tell you about this place - about the racism, and how few movies are made with people of color, and all of the challenges women face in the industry - you can get caught up in the negativity, and that will cause you to get depressed and grow tired of trying. 

It's true.  There’s a lot of nepotism in the business; and a lot of blacks haven’t made the connections needed to flourish in the industry. 

I've also found you need money.  If you don’t, you end up working a full-time job. You spend your weekends and evenings learning the industry and trying to break in; and then that becomes another full-time job.  If you have kids, it gets even harder.

Coming from Chicago, and then New York, I knew you had to hustle to avoid getting side-tracked. You really have to be willing to make a lot of sacrifices, or before you know it, ten years have passed.  When I first moved to L.A., I didn’t watch TV at all.  I worked during the day, came home and wrote.  I put the time in.

I think people can be successful, if they have enough determination and drive; but you have to keep pushing.  You also have to be able to handle the rejection.

I find that success comes from constantly doing good work and building up a library of things so that when opportunity finally comes along, you don’t have just one thing, you'll have a whole library of product.  You'll need that to fully take advantage of the opportunities that come along.

My guess is your mother had a lot to do with cultivating your drive and discipline.

Oh, she did.  She was just amazing. 

When I went to NYU (New York University), I had been given some money for school, but I was having problems staying there.  I called my mom, crying about my hardship and I told her I wanted to come home. 

She said, “I don’t want to see you here.” 

I just thought that that was the meanest thing in the world.  I said, “What!!!?”

And, she said, “Make it happen, and I’ll talk to you later.” 

I was just blown away.

There I was in my dorm room, on the one side was of my roommate, and she had everything, and on the other side there was me, and my side was empty.

I had gotten into trouble for sneaking into the dining rooms because I didn’t have my meals covered.  I was in a desperate situation.  I really had to get my hustle on, and find people who could help me. 

I discovered that I had to push beyond the financial aid people and find people who had funds to help me.  It was hard.  A few of the deans weren’t very helpful.  They told me the school wasn’t for everybody.  One suggested that I go to a state school in Chicago for two years, get my grades up, and then apply for some of the more prestigious programs and scholarships.

I was devastated, but I persisted because I knew my mother said, “Make it happen!” 

In the end, within a few weeks, I received a full, four year scholarship - all because I persisted.

Wait a minute!  You were on the brink of disaster and you suddenly ended up with a full ride, how did that happen? 

To be honest, it was God. 

In the midst all of the “no’s,” I kept listening for information that I could use to move forward. 

While they’re telling you “NO,” I was also listening for the name of someone who had more information and could possibly help.  I learned to listen very carefully.

I was meeting with the dean of the college of arts and sciences, and while he was telling me “no,”  he mentioned the Martin Luther King, Jr. Scholarship.  When the meeting was over, I asked his secretary if she knew anything about the scholarship.  She was an African American women who told me that the dean at the school of nursing had the scholarship; but she warned me that it would be difficult to get an appointment with her.

When I tried to make an appointment, I was told I needed to deal with the dean at my own college; but I was very persistent and said that I just wanted to meet the dean. 

Eventually, I was able to meet her, and it was really interesting how things worked out. 

At the time, my mother was receiving a lot of awards and recognition for all she had done with us.  She was even featured in Ebony magazine.  It so happened that that same issue of Ebony was on the dean’s desk, and it was opened to the page with my mother's story.  After I introduced myself, the dean said, “Ponder?  I was just reading about a family from Chicago named Ponder.  Is that your family?”

The funny thing is, I didn’t know my family was in Ebony.  I was shocked, but I told the dean that that was my family.  The dean then told me she was also from Chicago and that Margaret Burroughs (a co-founder of the DuSable Museum in Chicago) was her godmother. 

One thing led to another, and the dean sent me back to my room and told me that she would send for me the next day.

The following day, the head of housing came to my room and told me my room and meals were taken care of and that I needed to see the dean of nursing.  I did, and the dean gave me a full scholarship, plus a book stipend.  Her was named Patricia Carey.  I will never forget her.

I was so excited.  I called my mom and told her what had happened, and she responded matter-of-factly, “That’s very good.”

She just expected us to make things happen.

While your mother had high expectations of you, I suspect she also had a great deal of faith.  In the documentary, your brother said he didn’t like going to church, but it seems church was a big part of your lives.

My mother was absolutely a woman of faith, and I’ll tell you something that was not in the documentary.  My mother would send us to church, but she wouldn't go with us.

What I found as I got older, was that my mother would keep her Bible and a diary under her pillow.  She also use to receive The Daily Word, you know that little booklet of daily affirmations; and they were everywhere.

My brother and I figured out that she sent us to church to have some personal time, time away from the kids, and time with God. 

I gather from the close of the documentary that each of you walked way with your own faith in God.

Absolutely!  Obviously in different ways, but we all believe in God, and in a Higher Power, and most importantly, we believe there are no constraints.

Some people who have spirituality are still unable to think outside the box.  They don’t push for what they want.  They are unwilling to say, “Although I don’t see the next step, I’m going to step out there, and God is going to meet my need.” 

I think that’s the key.  It certainly has been for me here in L.A.

I went out on my own three years ago, as a filmmaker. No one gave me money.  I just stepped out in faith.

God has kept me and kept my family for so long, I couldn’t believe He’s brought me out here for nothing.  I knew I had the smarts. I just had to figure things out.  But first, I had to step out - to show God that I believe and trust in Him fully - and I had to know that He would meet my needs.

I’ve had my business for three years now.  I do videos; develop and produce television shows; and I have optioned some of my screenplays.  I do everything from writing, directing to producing.

It’s a tough business, a very tough business, but you can succeed if believe you can - if you set your mind to and believe that it is possible.

How has the documentary changed you and your family?

I’ve lived with the documentary for a while now, and it was like going through labor.  When I finished it, I was concerned about how the family would respond.  After all, it’s their story too, and their mom. 

While I took the reigns and did what I had to do t get it done, I wanted my family to be happy with the piece. 

It feels good to be able to paint a somewhat accurate picture of my mom, especially with limited resources. 

It's also wonderful to know that my brothers and sisters were touched by it.  My older brother said he appreciated the fact that I did the project because mom's no longer with us.

God is so good!  We could have missed the opportunity, but God had it in perfect order.  I had never done a documentary before, but everything fell into place.

Speaking of family, you interviewed your father’s sister in the documentary.  How has his side of the family responded to it?

It’s funny you should ask.  They haven’t seen it.  Everything happened so swiftly.  I was re-editing the piece for the Black Harvest Festival and didn’t have the chance to get copies to everyone. 

I’m working on that now. 

I really didn’t focus a lot on my father in the documentary.  I tried to be fair because everyone has two sides to their story.  I didn’t know him that well because I was four or five years old when he and my mom split up.  What’s amazing about my mom is that she never really spoke badly about him.  So, we didn’t grow up with that.

Is your father still alive?

He is; and he’s living in a nursing home in Georgia.  I found that out when I called him this year.  It was really interesting.  I didn’t quite know what to say.  Not that I was upset with him, or anything, but I really didn’t have a relationship with him. 

Since then, I've talked with him periodically. 

He’s very appreciative; and I think he’s a really nice person.  I can see my aunt’s point about him getting overwhelmed.

I don’t think his situation was all that unusual given the unemployment during the sixties and seventies.  I can imagine the stress of not being able to provide for the family.  I’m not justifying it.  I’m just saying people deal with pressure differently.  Some people can deal with a lot more than others.  Some people just cave it.  It’s unfortunate, but it’s a reality, I think.

As a viewer, I thought you handled your father in a balanced way; and I found your mother to be extremely fair when she acknowledged her role in the break up.

That means a lot to me.  I wanted to be fair. 

I didn’t want to take away some of the things that happened. I toiled with that.  I wanted to stay true to the experience that my mother had, because it was her story. 

My father did what he could.  It wasn’t enough, but what can you say? 

My mom never degraded him.  She understood that we are the seeds of both of them, and when a woman tears down her children’s father, she's also tears down her children.  Mom was never like that.

In the documentary, your mother talks a lot about her grandmother.  Why did they have such a special relationship?

My mother never really talked much about her upbringing.  The documentary was the first time I was able to piece together what my mother’s life was like.  It’s kind of sad how you can get so caught up with your own issues that you don’t really take an interest in your parents’ lives.

My mom was born in Port Gibson, Mississippi, and she was raised by her father’s parents, Berry and Winnie Miller.  She lived with them up until the fifth grade. 

In the beginning, my mom was with her mother, but that was only for a little while.  Her mother was having a hard time.  So, she stayed with her father for a while, but he too was dealing with a lot of stuff.  She ended up with her paternal grandmother, who wanted to adopt her and take care of her. 

After my great grandmother passed away, my mother went to live with her father in Chicago. 

Your mother might have lived with her grandparents for only a short while, but they had a profound affect upon her, especially her grandmother.

She did.  My mother received a lot of love and independence from her grandmother.  They had many conversations, and I think my mom became a thinker because her grandmother used to talk to her and encouraged her to think for herself.  Her grandmother also taught her many lessons about life. 

All of those things my mother passed on to us.

My great grandmother was a teacher as well, and I think that influenced my mom who was totally driven by education.  She instilled in us the importance of education.

I was surprised to see Ed Gardner in your documentary.  He was the founder of Soft Sheen, which was a leading black hair care company in Chicago.  What is his connection to your family?

Ed Gardner is a wonderful man.  I use to dance; and the Regal Theater use to have dance competitions.  (Ed Gardner and his family developed the Regal Theater on Chicago's Southside)  I was one of the winners.  The prize consisted of a little money for school, and lunch or dinner with Mr. Gardner.  That’s how I met him.

After he found out about our family, he fell in love with us and became a surrogate dad to me.  He invited the family to many events, including Bulls games.

He has been a great encourager to me and a source of inspiration.  He has a real wealth of knowledge and continues to support me simply by having the utmost confidence in my abilities. Although he has touched the lives of my entire family, Ed Gardner remains both a father figure and a friend to me.

When it’s all said and done, what do you hope people will take away from your documentary?

My mother’s experience speaks to the importance of parenting.  Parents are responsible for how their children live their lives.  People cannot haphazardly raise their children if they want to have whole and happy human beings, if they want their children to have confidence and to believe that they can accomplish things.

My mother went through a lot of things that I never knew she was experiencing. She taught us not to project our pain onto others.  Instead, she taught us to express positive words, thoughts and energy.

I took that a little further, and maybe my mother did as well.  I feel as though I’m a representative of God, and when people interact with me and I’m acting ugly, I do a disservice to God and everyone else.  I believe my actions should represent God, my parents, and the best of myself and my family.

Family is very important to me, without them, the documentary wouldn’t have been.  You saw it at the second screening, all the support and love. 

It was my sister, Sharon, who told me about the Black Harvest Festival.  At the time, I was overwhelmed with other things, but she encouraged me to get it in.  I asked my sister to spearhead the effort in Chicago since I was busy working on a project in Los Angeles.  Sharon and my brother, Reginald, got the sponsors, the poster for the documentary, the palm cards that were passed out; and they sent out all of the e-vites.  They did everything.  They were phenomenal.

So, the documentary really is about love, love between a grandmother and her grandchild, a mom and her children, and love between siblings.

What’s next for you?

I am currently working on several feature film and television projects and my goal is to develop an EXTRAORDINARY documentary series. 

Mom was great and we all love her, but there are so many stories that can be told about other amazing people in our communities – ordinary people with extraordinary journeys. 

I think it’s really important for us to tell our own stories.  I'm currently in the process of securing another EXTRAORDINARY story of another ORDINARY woman.

There is so much negativity on the talk shows and on the news; and yet there are so many stories, visions and dreams that could be of service - that could touch and inspire others. I want to bring forth positive stories.  People need the hope and inspiration to live better lives.  I'm seeking investors to enable me to document these stories and to get them out there. 

Well, Tracie, I wish you much success with your projects and thank you for sharing your story.