We’ve all seen the commercials and read the brochures from people selling team building exercises, or presentations from some motivational speaker – all of whom are promising to unlock a better you.  Often times, the product ends up being a fifty-pound book, a collection of tapes or maybe even three days in a classroom.

Molli Benson is sick of the tapes, books and lectures, and she has done something about it.

Benson, founder of Benson & Associates, has recently launched the Benson Retreats – a four-day, four-night experience that promises to have its participants leaving with greater leadership and communication skills, along with a more confident, yet empathetic attitude.  Part boot camp, part teambuilding, part self-improvement, and part creative thinking, the Benson Retreats aren’t easily categorized in any way.  Benson would be happy to tell you more about them; just don’t ask her to describe what actually happens there.

“That’s an impossibility,” said Benson of her retreats program.  “This is really unconventional – participants are not in a classroom being lectured, or listening to someone talk all day.”

Unconventional seems to be a gross understatement.  Over the four days of the Benson Retreats, participants will likely engage in activities and scenarios they’ve only read about in book or seen in action movies.

The overall picture seems basic enough.  The retreats are held at a broken down dude ranch in Mentone, Alabama.  The area resembles an old western town, with cabins, farm areas, streams, actual bulls, and everything else that comes to mind when you think of the phrase “the middle of nowhere.”

The days start very early – anywhere from 2:30 a.m. to 4:30 a.m.  There are three meal breaks during the day.  The evenings end around 6:00 p.m.  And that’s where the basic structure ends.

An Agenda Like None You’ve Ever Seen Before

In an effort to develop a program that will give its participants “actual experiences and emotional capital they can actually use,” Benson has put together a program that some observers might call radical.  In all of the major exercises, men and women are working together, side-by-side, in highly demanding situations – physically and emotionally.

“One of the main tenets of the program is that men and women learn to work together and communicate better, no matter the situation,” explained Benson.  “They have an opportunity to experience – not just to hear about – equality and inclusion.  By the end of the retreats, they stop really seeing each other as men and women, and just see one another as people.”

This is an important shift, and a necessary one, in order for the retreats to be effective.  “During the exercises, if a man sees a woman having some trouble, his instincts still kick in, and he’ll still stop and try to help her.  But by the end of the retreat, he’s doing the same thing for men.”

For instance, one of the days begins with an exercise called The Fugitive.  Two participants start out from the main camp handcuffed (yes, handcuffed) at 2:30 in the morning.  Their goal is to successfully hide from the other participants until the sun comes up.  A team of three people sets out to find them, equipped with radios, rope, water and whatever else they might need.  Different fugitives and search teams are sent out throughout the morning – two to three sets in all, depending on how much time there is, and how many participants are there.  The heavily wooded area makes for a challenging and exciting environment – not to mention intimidating.

“Obviously, when you’re doing exercises like this, safety is the first concern,” said Benson.  “We take all the precautions necessary so that no one gets hurt.  Ever.”  Among the precautions is having a veteran nurse on hand for all activities, not that one was ever truly been needed.

“The main point is to have fun in a very challenging way,” continued Benson on her highly unorthodox approach.  “The focus isn’t on ‘Hey, we’re going to boost your confidence.’  People don’t want to hear that; they’d immediately pull away from that.”

No one pulls away at the Benson Retreats.  Even if in some moments, they might want to.

In another exercise called Navy SEALS, two “enemies” are hidden away with one “SEAL” captive.  The other participants, divided into even teams, are dispatched to rescue the hostage and capture the enemies.  The team members are in full camouflage with face paint, and carry fake firearms.

True to the intent of the retreats, people who are typically shy and less confident are assigned to leadership positions.  Those who tend to be control freaks are put into support roles.  Strong, strategic personalities are typically second in command, to help even out the dynamic of the group.

It was important to Benson that the retreats were not just a series of physical, action-adventure activities.  According to Benson, that would fail to achieve many of the goals of the program.  “This is not all just a physical boot camp,” she said.  “It’s not all Fear Factor.  There are a whole host of interactive scenarios that aren’t physical at all.”

As a matter of fact, Benson claims that the biggest benefits are not physical at all, but largely emotional.

“People walk away feeling like brand new people – all because they did something this amazing on their own,” continued Benson.  “They can focus better, being away from their bills, phones, spouses, and their business colleagues.  The most powerful thing is seeing the camaraderie among 30 strangers.  Every year, it’s amazing to me.  They go out there and make friends without knowing anyone.  Seeing how they can ban together to get something done.  How they handle 12 people staying in one cabin with only one bathroom.  If you leave the door open, you might even have goats walking through your room.”

Perhaps the most telling experiences from the retreats come from the non-physical activities.  While Benson was reluctant to share many of the other activities, as they would be difficult for non-participants to visualize or understand, she offered some details on the cognitive aspects of the retreats.

“Maybe my favorite thing is seeing people’s discovery about themselves,” said Benson.  “They write one poem when they come, and another before they leave.  Many of these people have never written a poem before in their lives.  I read the second poems, and they blow me away.  They’re saying ‘Now I know who I am,’ and ‘I now have the strength to make choices in life.’  It’s shocking to me what they say.”

While some participants initially balk at the idea of writing poetry, for Benson, it’s non negotiable.  “We’re more honest in poetry than we are when we’re just speaking out loud,” she said.  “It comes from inside, it comes from the heart, rather than the head.”

Crossing the Gender Line

So how do you get a bunch of women to pick up semi-automatic weapons, and a group of men to write poetry – all in the same day?  According to Benson, the first step is to earn trust – if the students trust the teacher, they’ll accept the lesson.  Benson has a special gift for relating to people and earning their trust.  Much of that gift is based on understanding the person standing in front of her.

“I think I owe a lot of that to the fact that I had to raise my son alone,” explained Benson of her ability to relate to men and women alike.  “I had to fully understand men and women, and how they interact.  I had to know these things in order to raise him to be the man he needed to be.”

In addition to being a single mom raising a man, she also holds an advanced degree in psychology, and has more than 30 years as an actor and acting coach – which relies heavily, almost exclusively, on understanding people around you.

“I’ve been doing this for a long time, and I can confidently say that I see the male point of view very clearly,” she continued.  “When I have the men’s meetings, they open up to me.  They can relate to me.  They trust me.  I had one guy say to me, ‘you’re one of about four women in the world that would understand me.

Being a strong woman, and having a strong edge, women tend to respect me.  They respond to me.  In the end, I think I approach things as just a person, rather than a man or a woman.”

“The men can stand up when a woman approaches the table, but at the same time, he may find himself struggling along side her in the mud to cross a swamp later on.”

Benson’s ability to read people, along with her psychology and acting background, comes heavily into play when she assigns roles and responsibilities for her retreat activities.  After all, each attendee will need a different experience to get the most out of the retreats.

“I studied psychology for so long, and I have been coaching for so long – I know people’s issues when I see them,” she explained.  “At the end of the day, man and women have a lot of the same issues.  We just word them in different ways.”

Given the fact that she needs to pull people out of their comfort zones, and keep them there for four days and nights, the process of assigning roles and responsibilities becomes one of the most important parts of the planning process for Benson.  In the initial hours of the retreat, as attendees explain what they want to get out of the program, their word choices and body language immediately let Benson know what she thinks would be best for them.

“After 33 years, I have learned to find a certain way to talk to (students and retreat participants) differently,” explained Benson.  “I give them different roles and responsibilities during the retreats, so they can learn and experience the things they need to learn and experience.  I already know what I want to do on a broad level.  It only takes an hour or so with the participants to decide who should be doing what.”

So, What’s in it for Me?

Benson is very clear on what she wants her clients to get out of her retreats.  The individuals interested in her retreats will quickly and easily understand the benefits.  These benefits, however, aren’t exactly easy ones to communicate to potential companies and organizations that might want to do business with her.

“The Benson Retreats – the process of engaging in fun, challenging and unique scenarios and experiences – are 1,000 times more effective, memorable and worthwhile than any lecture or motivational speaker.  I’ll believe that until the day I die.  I’d welcome any debate on the matter – I’d love to debate that with anyone.”

With her 30-plus years of experience in psychology and acting, the main challenge for Benson’s new effort will be marketing.  She must answer the corporate question – what’s in it for me?  Benson, of course, has an answer.

“For companies who send their employees to the Benson Retreats, they would get back more productive, more confident people.  They’ll be hungrier, they’ll be able to achieve more, and they’ll know they’ll be able to achieve more.

If I were a business looking to send someone to these retreats, I would send that person I know has enormous potential – that employee that just needs to take that one more step,” she explained.

However, the retreats aren’t just for people needing the push.  It’s the mix of personalities, strengths, weaknesses, and abilities that make the retreats the unique experiences that they are.

“(The Benson Retreats) are designed for business people – anyone who wanted to do something fun and different to help unlock their potential,” said Benson.  “Their little pattern has been interrupted.  Their little box has been taken away.  And they walk away completely different people.  I’ve seen it a million times, over more than 30 years.  Nobody, and I mean nobody, has ever walked away dissatisfied.”

The retreat formula didn’t come together overnight.  It originally started as a retreat for actors, with a dramatically different agenda.  The original driving force behind the retreats was the thought that “a better, stronger person will be a better, stronger actor.”  After years and years of seeing what worked and what didn’t, the retreats evolved into an extensive experience that can potentially turn better people into better employees.

“It took a number of years to put it together,” said Benson of the journey behind creating the retreats.  “Finally, I was able to come up with everything that happens in these four days and nights.  I wouldn’t change it at all.  It’s so fun and rewarding.”

It has been a life-altering experience for Benson, as well as her clients.  She continues to surprise herself – in part because she still participates in all the activities, and is always the first to kick off the action.

“I can’t ask anyone to do something I wouldn’t do first,” said Benson.

In the end, according to Benson, it all adds up to an undeniably magical experience.  Different cultures, ages, races and genders working together – all focused on being better people and better professionals.

“We have people ranging in ages from 16 to 72 years old,” she said.  We have teenagers getting along with people in their 50s like there was no age difference at all.”

While Benson is tempted to take full credit for the changes she helps to bring about in her clients, she is also quick to make the most important point of all.  “They already have all the things I give them.  They just didn’t know how to use them before,” she said.

The End