Respecting others may be the most important way to build and maintain solid business and personal relationships.  When people show respect for one another, relationships have stronger foundations for growth and mutual success.  We exhibit our respect for others in many ways, such as extending common courtesies, having empathy, being honest, listening, or showing a genuine interest in the well being of business associates.

Today’s business environment - with its pace and pressures - makes it difficult for people to be respectful.  Most often the pressure is time related, that is, we lack the time available to do everything we need to get done during the day.  When something has to give, it’s usually our business contacts that suffer.

I really began to notice how business professionals deal with time constraints and responding to others once I became an entrepreneur.  Getting phone calls returned, having business contacts arrive on time for meetings, and receiving answers to correspondences is more difficult than it was when I worked in corporate America . 

Maybe I value my time more, or maybe my business contacts value my time less, I’m not exactly sure what the reason for change is.  It could be a result of the advances in technology.  After all, 20 years ago there was no e-mail and limited use of things such as faxes, overnight mail, cell phones (did they exist then?), even personal computers.  Was it the nice title I had with a big name bank that once got people to return my calls?  Or maybe this lack of professionalism has been an unfortunate business trend that has become more prevalent in recent years.

Whose Fault is It?

Failing to be responsive to others is clearly something that boils down to the actions of each individual, however, I wonder if organizations are more willing to put up more than they used to.  Staff members in large corporations and organizations seem especially willing to leave people in limbo or willing to waste the time of others.

A recently published survey conducted by the Proudfoot Company, a management-consulting firm, helped to confirm my thoughts.  According their survey of 2,700 Chief Executive Officers, these senior managers arrive late for an average of 60% of the meetings they attend.  One survey respondent, quoted in a November 26, 2002 U.S.A. Today article made an interesting observation about the tardiness of his CEO peers:  “Most of us are just arrogant…many of us overlook the importance of simple things like courtesy and respect.”

Has the same type of arrogance reached levels well below those at the top?  I think so.  Does this type of arrogance damage our relationships?  Without a doubt!  

When people do things that inconvenience us and impact our time we can’t help but develop negative thoughts.  Continued tardiness or lack of responsiveness confirms our negative opinions and make it much more difficult for us to achieve balanced, solid, and trusting business relationships.

I’m sure that most CEO’s (and most of the rest of us) would like to have phone calls returned promptly, meeting participants arrive on time, and business contacts notify us immediately when things come up that necessitate a change in plans. 

If you want to have the best in business relationships, or you know someone else that might want to do the same, take a look at these three actions that you can take to insure that your relationships reach their full potential.

What’s the big deal about being late?  The big deal is it sends a message that says you don’t care about a lot of things - including the other person.  You don’t care to plan ahead. You don’t care about how your tardiness will impact the time of others.  You don’t care about the subject of the meeting; and you don’t care about your reputation.  In the article mentioned earlier, Betsy Bernard, President of AT&T, described arriving late as “a blatant disrespect for people.”  Ms. Bernard recalled a former boss who regularly had others wait while he talked on the phone or to others who were available to speak to him all week.  She went on to state: “a boss who does this kind of thing is taking part of somebody’s life and pouring it down the drain.”  Wow, what a statement!

Being late also costs money.  Time spent waiting on others to arrive is both expensive and unproductive.  People have a long list of things to do, and very few people bring work to do while they wait on others to arrive.  What happens in situations where everyone is waiting?  We talk about the weather, or sports, or chit-chat amongst themselves about current events.  Some people twiddle their thumbs.  Others simply stew and simmer because they have to wait for the inconsiderate person or people to arrive.  Losing 15 minutes per day while waiting for others is equivalent to losing 3% your workday.  Imagine the cost to organizations that employ thousands of people and have their productivity decline by that 3% per year.

Here are a few tips that might help improve your timeliness:

• Set goals relative to being on time.  I once had an associate that set a goal of not being late for any meeting for an entire year.  While he didn’t meet the goal, he was able to complete the year in the single digits.  That was quite an accomplishment!

• Plan your days diligently!  Prepare a schedule for each day and arrange a time at the end of or the beginning of each day for planning.

• Allow time for unexpected occurrences and emergencies.  Leave 10 to 15 minutes after meetings to review messages, return calls, and look at e-mails or other correspondence.  At one time, I actually scheduled “phantom” meetings during the day in order to provide me with extra time and to prevent others from scheduling things into what appeared to be “open” time.

• Avoid back-to-back meetings.  Meetings can last longer than anticipated, people want to discuss other topics after meetings end.  Other people want to talk when they run into you while in transit, or other things just come up.  Even if it’s only 5 minutes, give yourself some latitude. 

• Confirm meetings ahead of time.  Sometimes a quick phone call or e-mail can help remind others of meeting times and locations.  You can also use these confirmations as a way to let people know of other time constraints you might have.

• Insist on agendas and meetings with specified goals.  Meetings that are conducted without agendas and goals tend to take longer and be less productive.

• For regularly scheduled meetings, establish a “sunset.”  At the outset of each meeting, make it clear to all in attendance that the meeting will conclude at a specific time - no matter what.

In Jeffrey Gitomer’s book: The Sales Bible, the author talked to thousands of salespeople and simply asked them what they wished buyers and prospects would do (or not do).  The number one gripe of salespeople:  Return my phone call.  Salespeople are not alone in wanting to have their calls returned.  All of us do.

Think about it.  How hard is it to return a call?  When you don’t return phone calls people are left to wonder why.  They may imagine that you are busy, or that you are involved in other things, or that their call is just not important enough for you to return in a timely manner.   It is important to remember that uncertainties resulting from calls not being returned can erode even the best of relationships.

One thing that I have been guilty of in the past is thinking that I know exactly why a person called before I really do.  The person that I might suspect is “wasting my time” could actually be calling with one of the best opportunities that I have ever had.  Do you really want to run the risk of not returning such a call and missing out on the opportunity?  I know I don’t. 

Next time you look at that stack of messages (or listen to the long list of voice mails), try these strategies for managing your phone calls:

• Return all calls within 24 hours.  While this can be challenging, most people will give you 24 hours to return the call.  “Today not tomorrow” is a great mantra to have and returning calls within that time frame works for most situations.

• Schedule time each day to return phone calls.  Calling people early morning or late afternoon can reduce the amount of phone tag.

• Make appointments for phone calls.  When you leave messages for others provide specific times that you will call back or be available to speak. 

• Develop recorded messages that ask callers to leave vital information - information that allows you to prepare for the return call.  Ask callers to state why they are calling, and insist in your voice mail message that they be specific.  This is another great way to reduce “phone tag.”

Electronic mail, faxes, letters, and memorandum can simply be overwhelming.  Technology allows people to send things to you much more quickly, but our ability to do the work necessary has not kept pace.  While you can send a response quicker, the work still takes time to get done. 

Business contacts often send proposals, requests, and other time sensitive information to you without much consideration as to your own constraints.  When responses are not received in a timely fashion, senders are left to wonder whether there is a problem.

Most people really don’t understand why you have not responded to something that they have taken the time to put in writing.  Putting things in writing takes time and requires work.  This is work that has been put into your relationship with the other party (whether you wanted the relationship to grow or not) and it does require you to respect the effort that has been put forth.  

You can respect the effort of others by considering these response techniques:

• Open and read incoming information immediately to determine whether it is time sensitive or requires a response within a designated deadline.  Make notes on the document that remind you of what needs to be done and by what date and time.  If a deadline exists, place notes in your calendar to allow for proper responses. 

• Call the sender immediately if there is a problem with meeting the deadline specified.  Some people procrastinate and call people right before the deadline to inform them that more time is needed.  I hate getting those kinds of last minute calls, don’t you! 

• Put things in writing!  Maybe this comes from my years of being a banker and dealing with lawyers.  Reducing your understanding of a situation to paper makes it very clear as to where you stand, what you intend to do, or what issues you might have.  It’s so easy to misunderstand and misinterpret what is said verbally versus the clarity that writing provides.  Please remember to be brief!

• Choose the medium for responding to the written message that is most appropriate.  Try not to automatically do what is best for you, but think about what your relationship party might prefer (phone call, memo, fax, e-mail, etc.) and what might be most appropriate (e.g. formal letter versus casual e-mail).  Taking the time to do this says to your relationship partner that you have put some effort forth, even if it’s only in thinking about the appropriate way to respond.

Summary

I love working with people that return my phone calls promptly, arrive at meetings on time, and respond to my correspondence in a timely manner.  What’s more, I respect these individuals for the way they respect my time (and consequently me).  Furthermore, I value these business relationships because not only am I working with people that respect me, but I know that they are professionals.

A lot of what I’ve talked about is administrative in nature.  However, managing our relationships with others is more than an art.  Managing relationships requires solid management and communication skills that must be practiced and developed.  Improvement in the three areas noted above will help improve your business relationships and assist you in meeting your important life missions.

The End