In Part 1 of “Become a Mentor and Discover What You Have to Give,” I discussed the concept of mentoring as a way of giving, understanding the obligation that each of us has to give, and finally, ways that we can go about finding our own unique gifts.

In the second part of this article, I suggest ways to get started distributing your many gifts through mentoring.

Mentoring as a Part of Your Life’s Mission

Understanding where you stand relative to meeting your life’s mission is critical to effective mentoring.  Your personal mission statement helps to guide your life and it requires that you establish specific goals and objectives.  If you have not crafted a mission statement, be sure to make this a key priority and get it done as soon as possible!

Your mentee will want to learn more about your mission, what your goals are, why you decided on them, and how you have gone about (and will continue to go about) getting your objectives accomplished.  Be sure to review your mission statement as part of your preparation for mentoring. Reviewing these statements is a great way to stay focused and to be reminded of how important mentoring others is to your life.

Your service as a mentor will require commitment and serve as an opportunity to share wisdom in a much more intimate way than you might in other types of relationships.  Your communications should be honest, candid, and open.  Relating to mentees in this way demands that you have a stronger sense of self-awareness, and your mission statement is a physical reminder of this awareness.

Who Do You Want to Mentor ?

Deciding on the type of individuals that you would like to mentor and then finding them is something that you should put a good deal of thought to.  Many people need assistance, but where can you be most effective as a mentor?

My experience in Corporate America, including 15 years as a manager, helped to make this an easy decision for me.  I like working with people in large organizations, especially those interested in advancing to positions of more responsibility, looking to improve business relationship skills, or seeking more enjoyment out of their careers and lives.  My “unique gift assessment” provided plenty of evidence that I had a very good understanding of what managers and senior managers view as skills needed by these high potential employees.  Consequently, most of the mentees that I work with are in professional jobs, middle management positions, or have responsibilities that offer potential for a great deal of growth within their companies or organizations.

Some people would rather mentor outside of the work environment.  Examples of mentoring outside of the business environment include work with students in high school or college, clients of community organizations, or people interested in specific subjects or skill areas.  Mentors often only want to work with people of the same gender, ethnicity, or some other defining characteristic.  Understanding your personal mission statement provides guidance in regard to where you decide to mentor.

Whomever you decide to mentor, make certain that you have something to give.  The steps noted under “Finding Your Gifts” in the part one of this article should have provided you with a number of ways to help identify the unique gifts you have available to share with mentees.

Formal versus Informal Mentoring

Another key decision to be made is the type of mentoring that you decide to become involved in.   Mentoring activities fall into two general categories: Formal Mentoring and Informal Mentoring. 

Formal Mentoring typically refers to a structured program, such as those found within many large companies, not-for-profits, and other organizations.  In this type of mentoring arrangement, guidelines are established relative to how the mentoring relationship is to work.  Typically mentors and mentees are assigned to one another based on interests or some other criteria, with more experienced people serving as mentors and less experienced people becoming mentees.  The mentoring arrangements may have specific requirements or expectations that are a standard part of the program.

Informal Mentoring arrangements develop outside of structured programs.  These relationships often seem to develop “naturally” or “by chance,” with the mentor and mentee working together without a formal support mechanism.  People in informal mentoring relationships are frequently drawn to each other due to common interests, similar values, or some other type of connection.  It is not uncommon for these type of mentoring relationships to grow into a mentoring arrangement, after having started as an acquaintance, business association, or friendship.  Informal mentoring relationships typically have no established requirements or formal agreements relative to how the mentoring should occur.

New mentors often find that participating in formal mentoring programs is easiest.  These arrangements allow you to gain valuable experience and to quickly get matched with someone that has already expressed a desire to be mentored.  Formal programs are also available in large numbers and they provide a support structure that can be of great assistance and assurance to both the mentor and the mentee.

Getting Started as a Mentor

Participating in a formal mentoring program can be relatively easy to do.  You usually have to make sure that you meet some minimal requirements and then simply “sign up.”

However, starting an informal mentoring arrangement can be more difficult, particularly as it relates to “popping the question" (that is, “Will you be my mentee or Will you be my mentor?”).  In fact, it is rare that one party actually says something like this to the other.  These types of mentoring relationships tend to evolve naturally.  One way that potential mentors can start the process is to offer assistance to a potential mentee on a specific matter, a particular need, or a situation that is known to exist.  By working with a potential mentee in this way, both people have the opportunity to get to know one another and to see what it would be like to actually work together.

Once a mentee has been identified, either through a formal program, or on an informal basis, building as much common ground as possible becomes important.  As mentioned earlier, the gift assessment described in Part 1 should provide you with a number of areas where you can find common interests and opportunities to offer assistance.  Remember that the success of your mentoring relationship is largely dependent on the chemistry that exists between you and the mentee.  As the mentor, it is important that you take the lead in looking for ways to grow and enhance the relationship in its early stages.

Tips for Better Mentoring

Becoming a successful mentor requires that you do more than simply know what you’re good at or knowing a lot about a particular subject.  Mentees are looking for people that are knowledgeable, trustworthy, respectful, honest, confidential, communicative, and non-judgmental.  Improving your ability  in all of these areas will help you form deeper and more productive mentoring relationships.

Want to bring out the best in your mentees?  Try incorporating these items in your mentoring activities and you’re certain to have more successful mentoring relationships:

• Talk to former and current mentors and mentees about their mentoring experiences.  You will gain a great deal of insight about what works for others and what might serve as “best practices” for you to use.

• Read books and articles on mentoring.  These writings will describe the many considerations of mentoring relationships and specific ways that people can be mentored.  Remember, mentoring can exist in many forms, such as coaching, teaching, facilitating, advising, and role modeling.

• Work on your communication skills, and especially on your listening abilities.  Being a good mentor requires empathy, and the best way to understand the thoughts and feelings of someone else is to become a better communicator.

• Use mentoring agreements, even in informal mentoring arrangements.  This agreement should define the role of each party, set mentee goals, detail the length of the relationship, set termination guidelines, specify meeting frequency, establish performance measurement criteria, and document expectations relative to how confidentiality will be handled.

• Review the mentoring relationship on a periodic basis.  The mentoring agreement can be used as a working document to help make sure that the needs of both the mentee and mentor are being met.  Sometimes, mentoring relationships have a “shelf life.”  When it is time to move on, do so amicably.

Summary

We all have an obligation to mentor others.  Take this duty seriously and strive to be the best possible teacher and counselor possible. 

Remember that many people have taken the time to make our lives better by mentoring us in so many ways.  They have passed on knowledge and expertise in an unselfish way with the hope that we will not only prosper as individuals, but that we will pass these benefits on to others.

Give to others.  Be a mentor.  Start right away!!!   

The End